For Better and For Worse...

When we were married, I remember hearing the whole 'for better, for worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health' thing, but never really thought about what it would mean to me almost 20 years later.  In our up and down 20 years, we've been through the full gammet.

My hubby wasn't always sick, but the last 10 years have taken it's toll.  For years, he had a thriving contracting company, making more than enough money to provide for his family.  We lived in a beautiful home, with a cleaning lady to clean my toilets, and a nanny to help with the kids.  I always had money when I was in university, which was a rarity for a full-time student.  And we would take vacations twice a year.  We lived a charmed life.

Then he started to get sick.  The dibilitating form of arthritis he has kicked in when he was about 33.  Very quickly, each of his joints on his hands swelled up the size of crabapples, and his spine began collapsing.  He has lost about 3 inches in height now, and can't even close his hands over a golf club.  He's always had higher than normal blood pressure, but we always thought it was managed.  We found out the hard way that he also had hypothyroidism, which was the cause of the increased blood pressure.  He had a heart attack at 41.

Since then, he's been on blood pressure and thyroid medication daily, and has days he can't walk up the stairs to bed.  He's had to close down his business, and because he never knew anything else, does retail sales just to feel like he's contributing to the financial responsibility of our family.

So, in the true spirit of 'sickness or health', I have had to pick up the slack on our finances and take responsibility of the income, bills, and expenses.  Thank goodness for good company benefits, or we'd be hooped.  His medication runs about $700 per month, and his income is barely enough to cover the rent.  We had to sell our house that we loved so much, pretty much giving it away.  The money we made from the sale paid off some bills that had been lacking since the heart attack, and we had about $2000 left.

He can't help with the housework, and we can't afford the cleaning lady or nanny anymore.  I do it all myself.  I work the 50 hour week, then come home nightly to do the shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning.  The kids groan when I ask them to help out and they feel like I'm forcing them into slavery.  So, to save the fights, I just do it all myself.  It's easier.

I sit back and wonder, if I had known when I was married, that I would get the sicker - poorer - worse scenario, would I have gone through with it?